Dear, Person Standing in the Middle of the Sidewalk, Blocking My Path, Staring Right at Me:
I know I look totally awesome as I run toward you with my sweaty salt-covered face jiggling with every jarring step, but could you kindly not stare. I mean, I know you have probably never seen anyone so fast before. It's called running. You may have heard of it, but, judging by your sloth-like demeanor, perhaps you haven't. You see me coming right toward you. You know the sidewalk we are both using has limited space. Yet, you do not move over. You continue to just stare. What is it? Even though I may look superhuman, I really am not. I need room to run. I cannot pass through solid objects. And, if I must make a sudden movement to quickly dodge your cigarette/dog/child/drunk girlfriend, I may twist an ankle. So please, step aside.
Thank you,
Lynne
P.S. I'm not afraid to throw an elbow. :)
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